Happy and Gay in Ecuador
I am in a mood tonight…
Lets see if it affects my writing.
This is going to be a little bit about being gay in Ecuador, and a lot about why you keep asking me if it’s ok….
It is midnight here. It is dead silent. There is a mouse in my office and he is chewing on something. I can’t find him and it is driving me crazy….
I will kill him later! Or maybe I will catch and release him… or maybe I will let him live here with me…. we shall see. Maybe I will adopt him…
Story time….. I have a couple of them.
What’s In a Name
Stupid can be hurtful, and being called fat might be devastating to some…
But how about being called a faggot. Is that just the nastiest word ever?
About two months ago I saw this great looking Porsche convertible. Two guys were in it, looked like they might be on their way to the beach. I followed them for a couple of blocks, I was in my work truck. Their car was just like mine but it was a gray color. Looked great.
“So, that’s how I look when I’m driving my little Porsche. Wow, I’m super cool.”
All of a sudden a pickup truck full of what looked like 3 men in their late 30’s sped past me on the right and caught up to these guys in the convertible. I could hear them yelling bad names at them and making ugly, nasty hand gestures. One of the men spit. I watched the guys in the convertible as the happiness was sucked right out of their faces, their laughter turned to sadness, then anger, then fear, all in about 5 short seconds.
Then as quickly as they had appeared, the truck full of half wit, deliverance types, turned the corner and they were gone. I watched the young man in the passenger side of the convertible put his face in his hands, he was shaking and I think he was crying. The driver pulled over and stopped the car and I slowly drove past them….
How does someone feel when something like this happens? My feelings were hurt and this was not even aimed at me. Would this hurt pass in a few hours or would it last a lifetime for these two people?
By the way, this little unhappy episode happened just outside of Palm Springs, California. Palm Springs is really gay. This should have been the last place in the world to see this type of behavior. But bad things happen.
So why the sad story?
Because people keep asking me if it is alright to be gay in Ecuador….
And I think maybe what they should be asking is….
How are my coping skills?
How is my self esteem?
Can I handle a big move to a South American country?
I can tell you that moving to an unfamiliar culture in a foreign land is not for wimps. Add the gay thing into the mix and it could be a deal breaker for some. It really depends on you.
You should probably be more concerned about learning the language and learning more about the local culture than worrying about your gayness.
And one more small suggestion….If your flame is set on high, I might turn it down a little when in public. Machismo is a big part of the Ecuadorian culture. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be yourself, just be discrete. Ecuador is a very friendly country, gay or not gay. You will find that being friendly and open will get you the same in return.
End of Sad Sad Story……
Happy and Gay in Ecuador Part Two
Here comes story number two…….
My friend Jenny has told me more than once that she is ok with gays but she just wishes they would keep to themselves. She is not up for any public affection…
That kind of thing just makes her think about what that whole mess must be like when they are intimate, and she didn’t want that taking up any space in her brain.
“It just grosses me out to think about two guys or two girls doing it”.
I turned and looked up at my 300 pound friend and then over at her husband, the ugliest man on the planet and said…..
“Ya Jenny, I know exactly what you mean….”
Sometimes people are rude and they don’t even know it. Want to be happy, get a little thicker skin. Don’t set those expectations to high. Expect nothing and sometimes you will be pleasantly surprised…. but don’t count on it.
A lot of Ecuador is pretty conservative. But with that said, it is also a very friendly and welcoming place. The bigger cities like Quito and Guayaquil are more liberal. Montanita and Vilcabamba are very liberal. I saw a couple of girls holding hands in Montanita… Take your time, look around, and pick a community you feel comfortable in.
I personally have not seen any overt discrimination against gay people.
In 1998 Ecuador joined a small group of countries that enshrined protection from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in their constitution. The Constitution states that all individuals shall be considered equal and shall enjoy the same rights, freedoms, and opportunities, without discrimination due to birth, age, sex, ethnicity, color, social origin, language, religion, political affiliation, economic position, sexual orientation, health status, disability, or difference of any other kind.
So, just sharpen your awareness and don’t place yourself in a situation that could end up bad. Same-sex couples traveling in Ecuador should avoid public displays of affection in most areas. Just be discrete.
I just have to say that this subject bores me to death because it is all about fear and ignorance, bigotry and hate. And I’m still in a foul mood. But I think that mouse has fallen asleep. I will let him live.
I will celebrate the day that we no longer have to talk about this issue. Live and let live….. Nothing has ever gotten better because of hate.
And a few other things you might want to know….
- Yes, it is true that all the good guys are either married or gay.
- Yes, Cher is an alien and not from this world.
- And yes, it is a proven fact that when gays move into a neighborhood, home values go up 20%.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
We sold our house so we have to move soon.
I just bought some precious metals because I am scared of the boogie man.
I joined a gym so I can feel better and it is not working yet…
I do not like getting old. Today I turn 58.
Ask me anything. Tell me anything.
Friend me. Subscribe. Leave a comment about anything you want…
Have a great week everyone.